On Culture Part III

ad•o•les•cence noun \ˌa-də-ˈle-sən(t)s\
1: the state or process of growing up
2: the period of life from puberty to maturity terminating legally at the age of majority
3: a stage of development (as of a language or culture) prior to maturity

We hear plenty of the bunk about multi-culturalism and diversity in our day to day lives, so I don’t feel a need to address those ideas here. What I rarely see or hear much about is our own 2010 American culture. Observations on our own red, and yellow, black, and white (and brown) collective culture.

I believe that the most outstanding trait of contemporary American culture, and I don’t think it’s a good one, is that we take a long time to grow up. Adolescence in today’s America can last 20 years or longer, often beginning around age 10 and not ending until a person’s late 20’s or early 30’s. How strange that childhood seems to be ending sooner, yet it is taking our youth so long to become productive, responsible adults. Strange, but true. The age of adolescence has overwhelmed our children and young adults. Why? As I often say, I don’t have all of the answers, but I have lots of opinions. I’ll share a few here. If you have any of your own to add, please do so in the comments section. I’d like to hear them.

• Parents, who haven’t come out of adolescence themselves, treat their children as friends. I think this draws children into adolescent thoughts and behaviors sooner than is good for them, and then locks them into this way of thinking and living longer than they should because the principles of authority and submission, dependence and responsibility are never learned.
• Institutional childcare. Daycare is paid for, and service is demanded from the parents and the children. Then kids are sent to schools where parents demand as much in the areas of childcare and social activities as they do academics. This continues into higher education, producing young “adults” who want to enjoy the freedoms of adulthood, yet still demand to be taken care of. e.g. Obamacare says that you can now stay on your parents’ health insurance to age 26 and after that, the government will pay for you.
I believe that when children are brought up in homes, whether their own or, if both parents are working, in someone else’s, they are more likely to be shown love and taught discipline and accountability.
• Sexual “freedom” and putting off of marriage. In today’s culture, adolescents are taught that sex is for them too, as long as they “really love that person” and “protect” themselves with condoms and birth control. Sex is no longer viewed as something that rightly belongs only in a marriage relationship. That would make a person have to be “tied down” before they could enjoy the pleasures of a sexual relationship, and even non-believers view marriage as a duty and a responsibility one to another. I’m sure I sound old-fashioned, but I don’t believe that a person should date or enter into a courtship until he is prepared to seek a wife, and that people shouldn’t marry unless they are prepared to be parents. Don’t misread me here. I’m not saying that you should be financially secure and read up on all the marriage, pregnancy, and parenting books before you ask to take a girl to dinner, but that you should enter that relationship with the future in mind and look beyond the infatuation and intense physical desires of a new relationship.

I believe that this cultural trend of extended adolescence is damaging to our nation and society. It is a burden to those who become “sandwiched” taking care of their elderly parents and their “grown” children. It lowers the tax revenue, yet increases the burden of government programs, resulting in budget deficits and higher taxes for those who do grow-up. It is leaving millions of kids fatherless.

I pray that my children will “ponder the path of their feet, and let all their ways be established.” Proverbs 4:26; That they won’t wander aimlessly and endlessly in adolescence, but that they will enjoy their childhood, and when the time comes that they will become upright adults.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child; I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11