In Response...

“I request that both you and Leslie write on the topic so I can hear both of your perspectives, if that's not too much to ask. How did you decide to have four children? We're about to have number two, as you know, and are considering at least one more... but have some questions about how that would all work. Seems like you guys are doing great at it, and our families have lots of similarities (I'm a stay-at-home mom, too; Dave's schedule is erratic and nutty; we want to please God and raise our kids to know Him; our families don't live nearby - though we have you way beat on this one!; etc...).”            -Lisa in Alaska

I’ll begin with saying that I believe in the Providence of the Lord Almighty.  It is a beautiful mystery and I don’t claim to understand it.  I believe and profess a faith in it.  
I could end my response right there, but I suspect that you want a little more than that so I’ll try to explain a little more, but in reading the rest of this and in your own day to day, I encourage you to keep those first three sentences in mind.
Another thing to keep in mind:  Words are important.  I believe that we are created in the image of God, therefore I believe that the words we speak into our world have power just as the words of God have power.   I’ll probably work on another post further exploring this idea.
You asked how did we “decide” to have four children.  Unless you are adopting, and even then outcomes are uncertain, you can’t decide to have any number of children unless that number is zero.  I’ve seen a lot of heartache result from people using words like “we’ve decided to get pregnant”.  God the Creator is the Giver of Life.   

When we were first married Leslie was on the pill.  After a few months of marriage I found myself watching that little packet of pills on the counter and dreading the fourth row.  When she got to the fourth row, my normally kind and sweet wife became not so sweet and kind.  I didn’t know how to handle it (what man does?).  She would get upset with herself and apologize.  I tried my best to be understanding, but we both grew tired of the emotional rollecoaster.
Like so many newlyweds we had a desire for children, but didn’t feel confident that we were financially secure enough to start making babies right away.  We talked a lot about it and finally fell back on our belief in the Providence of the Lord.  Leslie went off the pill.  We had faith that if and when she became pregnant that the Lord would provide.  Her emotions smoothed out even though Aunt Flo’s visits were still a little stressful sometimes.  About six month later, I started working for the railroad and a week after that we found out that she was pregnant with Jonesy.  
Our kids are, 15 months, 22 months, and 27 months apart.  Believe it or not, we did employ some other forms of pregnancy prevention between them, but our love for our children and the desire for more always won out.  In fact Leslie was disappointed at not getting pregnant fast enough between #3 and #4.  
I think Leslie would agree with me that our attitudes about having children have changed, matured, and taken on new perspective over the course of our marriage.  
Today’s cultural norm is to get married, delay childbearing, and “decide” to have two children.  Among Christians and pagans alike it is the norm.  Why? ( I could give you a list of reasons why I think that has become the norm, but I think I’ll leave that to those of you who wish to take advantage of the comments section. )  
Over the course of my marriage and experience as a father, it has become difficult for me to reconcile praying “thy will be done” and reading scriptures extolling the blessings of having children with today’s family planning culture.
My mom was one of six kids, and her father was one of thirteen.  When I was growing up she often proudly pointed this out to me.  I remember wondering to myself, ‘If a bunch of kids was so great then why does everybody just have two these days?”  My dad was one of four, and both of my parents grew up in houses that weren’t any bigger than the one Leslie and I own.  We recently heard someone say that our generation has come to love drywall more than children.  Is that true?  Leslie and I are often baffled by people who love our kids, always want to hold our babies, and tell us how precious they are then say that they don’t want to have anymore of their own because they can’t afford them or don’t have room for them.
I believe that children are a blessing, not a liability to be figured into a cost analysis. I’m proud that the Lord has seen fit to bless us with four of them, but please understand that I’m not saying that a barren womb is a curse.  Having a beautiful voice is a blessing, but that doesn’t mean that not being able to carry a tune is a curse.  
I believe that if you are willing to accept the blessing of children from the Lord, then you should give it over to Him.  I don’t have any official stats, but I would guess that raising up a passel of children in the fear and admonition of the Lord is probably more effective in fulfilling the great commission than leaving your life savings to a missionary fund.
Like many newlyweds who grow weary of the “So when are you going to have kids?” questions, Leslie and I sometimes get weary of “don’t you know what causes that?” and “are you done?”.
My answers are we enjoy what causes that and we’ll let the Lord decide.  

I know that Leslie is working on her response to Lisa’s question, and I’m sure that she’ll offer a different perspective.  I know my response may lead to more questions and I welcome them.  As I often say, I don’t have all the answers, but I do have a lot of opinions.