On marital success

Leslie and I have a book called Love Talk Starters that I highly recommend.  You can get it on amazon for less than $5.  It’s not a preachy book full of chapters of advice.  It’s just a small paperback full of prompts and one sentence questions that can really help you to get to know your esposa better.  We’ve been taking this book with us on road trips for several years so we have gotten into the habit of discussing each other and our marriage when we travel.  We had the book with us on our trip to Odessa last weekend and, since we were traveling to celebrate my grandparents’ 60^th anniversary, marriages (ours and everyone else’s) and marital issues were on our minds and dominated most of our conversations. 

As the party was winding down Bro. John asked my grandmother if she had any advice for the rest of us.  At first she kind of shrugged it off and then a couple of minutes later she said (as best I can remember),

“Seriously, John, I was only 16 years old when we got married and was still living at home.  I went from telling my daddy, “Yes, Sir.” to telling granddaddy, “Yes, Sir.”  It wasn’t that much different.  I just did what he told me to do.  Our relationship was never really 50/50.  So many women these days were raised being taught that that’s the way that things ought to be.  That she should have a career and make just as much money and have just as much say so as her husband.  I had four boys never raised a daughter so I don’t know if I would have raised a daughter that way or not.  I never had to make that decision…

It wasn’t always easy, but Granddaddy always provided for us and we just took care of each other.”

Some one else may have heard a woman describing how she never got to spread her wings and fly, that she’s been under a man’s thumb her entire life, that her sixty years of marriage were sixty years of bondage and oppression.

What I heard was an honest answer to the question that was asked, “What is your secret for staying married so long?  Do you have any advice for the rest of us?”

What I heard was a personalized version of the verses from the fifth chapter of Ephesians.  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…..Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …..`For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.`  This is a profound mystery…..”

  

On our way home as we continued our conversations about marriage, Leslie and I were talking about Grandmother’s advice and how we wanted our children to be wise in choosing whom to marry.  How we want our girls to find husbands that will love and provide for them and be worthy of being submitted to, and that West will grow up with the expectation that he is to lovingly protect and provide for his wife and family.

And finally, all of that brings us to the song of the week.  I remember sitting in class (I was a social work major in class with a bunch of libbers) when the teacher said that she had heard this song on the radio and that it was just awful and so offensive to women.  I couldn’t hold my tongue and told her that I disagreed, and it made me smile every time I heard it because it made me think of both sets of my grandparents.  I told her to look at the title of the song, “It Works.”  It may seem like foolishness and some folks might not like it, but It Works.

As always, whether you agree or disagree, your comments are welcome.

“It Works”

He rattles his glass, she jumps up fast
And pours him a glass of tea
Deep in her heart she believes
That's the way it should be
Yeah, and I've seen my dad get fightin' mad
Over one little four-letter word
He'll tell you fast you don't talk like that around her

We may not see it the way they see it
We may not do it the way they do it
But she lives here life for him
And he'd gladly die for her
And even in this modern age, it works

Though he's been down in his back
He still jumps out of that sack
Every morning at 5 a.m. Having her home
With the kids has been worth it to him
Yeah, and she takes pride in being his wife
And making their house a home
And sometimes she wishes the world
Would just leave them alone

If the good Lord's willing there will come a day
When our children will say…

Even in this modern age, it works...

On the Road Again...

Business is continuing to improve. I’m working as an engineer on the road again. Sure beats being a switchman in the freight yard. The work is easier, it’s not wet and cold, and it pays better.
I’ve got a week of vacation coming in March. Nathan is going to come down and go camping and fishing with me for a few days.
We traveled to Odessa last weekend to celebrate my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. More on that in an upcoming post.
Leslie has been sick since last night. Coming out both ends. She’s pretty miserable and has been laid up in bed today. Please pray that she feels better tomorrow as I will probably be on my way to FtWorth and she’ll be solo with the girls.
I wish global warming had been real and not a myth. This cold and damp has me downright despondent.

You don't have to call me darlin, darlin'.

I’ve been a blogging slacker and I apologize.

Things have picked up at work and I’m no longer in danger of being furloughed. In fact, they’ve recalled some guys that have been cut off for a year now. I’m still not holding the job that I’d prefer, but I’m working and thankful for it.

I’ve been working on the railroad for 6 years now. I know a lot of people still wonder why I went to work there in the first place and/or why I’m still there. Well, being so close to being out of a job made me think long and hard about it and some of the answers are……..
The pay and benefits are good.
Americana. I work for a company that is over 150 years old and was instrumental in the settlement of the Western part of our nation. I take pride in being a part of what keeps America moving.
I don’t sit inside all day everyday.
I don’t think I could handle the rut and routine of a Mon-Fri, 8-5 job. I know my schedule makes it difficult to plan things with other people, but it really works well for our family.
I get to fish, grocery shop, and run my errands during the week when everyone else is at work.
I don’t have to work with many women. You can be offended by that if you want to, but I believe that it makes my days less stressful than they would be otherwise and makes me better appreciate the company of my wife when I’m home.
I wear what I want.
I get to work on and around trains. I’m not a rail enthusiast or anything, but what little boy wouldn’t get excited if you told him that when he grew up he would get to work on the railroad, ringing the bell, blowing the horn, driving a train?

So this week’s song is Steve Goodman’s “City of New Orleans” performed by Willie and the Highwaymen. Yes, THAT Steve Goodman from the line “A friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song."  He not only wrote the perfect country and western song, he also wrote the perfect railroad song.

Happy Birthday, Leslie, and Song of the Week

Leslie's birthday is Friday the 22nd so I decided to dedicate this week's song to her. Who need's Casey Kasem when you have a blog? It's Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are", seen in this video in his 1977 glory days.
I love my wife.
You can leave your birthday wishes for her in the comments section.

"Just the Way You Are"

Don't go changing to try and please me,
You never let me down before,
Don't imagine you're too familiar,
And I don't see you anymore.

I could not leave you in times of trouble,
We never could have come this far,
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times,
I'll take you just the way you are.

Don't go trying some new fashion,
Don't change the color of your hair,
You always have my unspoken passion,
Although I might not seem to care.

I don't want clever conversation,
I never want to work that hard,
I just want someone that I can talk to,
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew,
What will it take till you believe in me,
The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you, and that's forever,
And this I promise from the heart,
I couldn't love you any better,
I love you just the way you are.

my Y chromosome kicked in

I didn’t celebrate MLK day the way it should be celebrated (see MLK Day 2009), but it was a good day anyway. The sonogram confirmed that we are having a boy. I already knew that (see Nov 30th’s post), but not everyone believed me. West Huckaby Brown is his name.
West for The West. The idea of open spaces, room to be and become. For all of those (including many of our great-grandparents) who left what they knew to go to a place they had never seen with the faith and hope that something better was there to be had.
Huckaby is my paternal grandmother’s maiden name.
You can call him West, or Huck, or W.H. I guess I’ll have to wait until he gets here to settle on one.

I’m still working. I didn’t think I would last this long without being furloughed, but it’s looking like I may not be cut off after all. Thanks be to the Lord.

Leslie and I went to see Avatar in 3-D last night. The 3-D part was neat, but I thought it was just an okay movie. As we watched, I was continually reminded of what a great movie Dances with Wolves was and still is. Same plot, much better movie, even without 3-D.

The girls are leaving for Amarillo tomorrow. I might go fishing.

I haven’t decided on this week’s song yet, but I’ll post it tomorrow.

Via con Dios.

Song of the Week

This weeks song is Merle Haggard’s “The Way I Am” performed by Jamey Johnson, one of my favorite artists out there right now. I think he’s the Willie Nelson of the 21st century in that he’s written more hits for other people than he’s had himself and will likely never go mainstream, but will be the guy everyone else wishes they could be. He’s at the top of my list of people I’d like to see live.
This song has been on my mind for the past few weeks, sort of a theme song for my current life and employment situation.

“The Way I Am”

Wish I was down on some blue bayou,
With a bamboo cane stuck in the sand.
But the road I'm on, don't seem to go there,
So I just dream, keep on bein' the way I am.
Wish I enjoyed what makes my living,
Did what I do with a willin' hand.
Some would run, but that ain't like me.
So I just dream and keep on bein' the way I am.

The way I am, don't fit my shackles.
The way I am, reality.
I can almost see that bobber dancin',
So I just dream, keep on bein' the way I am.

...and here's what's going on today...

Georgia got up early this morning and we made muffins for breakfast. They were from a mix labeled wild berry muffins, but she dropped the berry part and it makes me laugh to hear her telling her sisters and mother that she made Wild Muffins.

We are almost a week into January and I still have a job. Hopefully I’ll be able to hang on for another week or two. That would leave just 6 weeks until March, after which I shouldn’t have to worry about holding a job for the rest of my career.
I think we’ve made the decision that I am just going to stay here during the time I am furloughed. I turned in my application to substitute teach with the Belton ISD, and should start doing that next week on days I don’t work at the railroad.
I’m feeling less stressed about this situation today, in the midst of it, than I was a month ago knowing it was coming. I know there have been people praying for us. Thank you, in particular, to Bill and Joyce Roberts, Irv and LouAnn White, and that old man I met at the Cracker Barrel in Ft Worth. “The prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Right on, St. James.

Rush will be back on the radio today after being off for a couple of weeks for his holiday trip to Hawaii. I’m looking forward to hearing what he has to say about recent events.

For any of you that haven’t heard, global warming turned out to be a myth. I told you so. It’s supposed to freeze tonight and not get back above freezing until Saturday afternoon. Coldest period for our area in at least 10 years. If any of you are still in the tank with AlGore, adjusting your lingo to “man made climate change”, you are a moron.

Jones is going to celebrate her 5th birthday on Sunday. We asked her if she’d like to have a surprise party. She said she would so we are going to surprise her at the Burger King in Belton next Thursday at 2:15. You’re all invited.

One of the best lines Willie ever wrote: “Walking is better than running away, and crawling ain’t no good at all.”